Could your non-negotiables be the key to greater resilience?

Do you ever notice how you feel "off" when you skip the things that matter most? That’s the power of your non-negotiables.

When life gets busy, it’s easy to let go of sleep, movement or the boundaries that protect our time and energy. But research shows that holding firm to our “non-negotiables” -  the values, practices and lines we simply won’t cross - actually strengthens our well-being. Psychologists call these “self-integrity anchors.” They remind us of who we are and what we stand for, even when life feels overwhelming.

Studies suggest that when people affirm their most important values, they’re less reactive to stress and better able to cope with challenges. It’s like having an internal shield; your non-negotiables keep you steady when everything else feels shaky.

For some, that might mean prioritizing family dinner, a morning walk or a weekly yoga class. For others, it could be relational boundaries like refusing to tolerate disrespect, or committing to honesty even when it’s hard. What matters isn’t what your non-negotiables look like, but that they align with your deepest priorities. When you live by them, you reinforce trust in yourself, which is at the heart of resilience.

If you’re not sure what your non-negotiables are, start by asking: What do I feel worse without? What helps me show up as my best self? As a UK HR health coach, part of my job is supporting you as you figure this out, so if that sounds like it would be helpful, sign up for a free well-being consult to get started.

Honoring your non-negotiables doesn’t just help you get through tough times; it helps you thrive. When you stand by what matters most, you’re giving yourself the structure and stability to grow, adapt and flourish.