Bringing More Meaning (and Less Stress) to Your Get Togethers Four Ways to Gather Well

The season of get-togethers is almost here; family dinners, office parties, potlucks and special traditions. While these can be fun, they can also feel overwhelming. As author Priya Parker says in The Art of Gathering, “How we gather shapes the way we live.” With a little intention, we can make our gatherings feel more nourishing for ourselves and others.

1. Start with a purpose.
Every year, our family hosts a Winter Solstice gathering at our home in Minnesota. We cut a large hole in the frozen lake for a polar plunge and the brave among us jump in (then dash straight into the sauna to thaw). It’s wild and invigorating, and the purpose is clear: to celebrate the return of light and remind ourselves of what it feels like to be fully alive. Before planning any gathering, it helps to pause and ask: What’s this really for? Maybe it’s to mark a transition, reconnect with someone, or simply share joy. Research suggests that when we gather around a shared purpose, we leave feeling more grounded and less stressed.

2. Mark the moment of arrival.
At our solstice plunge, we always start with a potluck and spiced cider.  We also have a simple ritual; light a candle, take a breath, share a few words of gratitude for the year that’s been. You don’t need a frozen lake to create meaning; it can be as simple as welcoming guests with warmth or asking, “What’s something that’s been lighting you up lately?” These small thresholds help everyone arrive fully.

3. Focus on connection, not perfection.
No one cares if the floors are dirty or if the spiced cider isn't homemade. The laughter, the shock of cold, and the shared recovery in the sauna are what make it memorable. Studies show that authenticity and emotional connection (not flawless hosting) are what most deepen our sense of well-being.

4. End with intention.
When the night winds down, we gather by the fire and listen to my husband sing and play his guitar. It’s a simple way to seal the memory, get warm, and end the night.

This season, don’t just gather out of habit. Gather with heart. Whether it’s around a table or a frozen lake, when we come together with purpose and presence, we create spaces that restore us and remind us what it means to belong.