Wellness is more than self-care
When I meet with new health coaching clients, they often start by listing wellness goals like drinking more water, stretching or getting better sleep. These are helpful habits, but they usually don’t create the deeper change they hope for.
That’s because real wellness isn’t just about what we do. It’s about how we relate to ourselves — especially during stress. It’s about how we treat our emotions, our energy and our inner voices when things get hard.
Psychologist Dr. Susan David calls this emotional agility — the ability to navigate our thoughts and feelings with compassion and curiosity, rather than judgment or avoidance.
One powerful mindset shift to try:
Instead of asking, "What’s wrong with me?" or "How do I fix this?" try asking:
“What value is showing up, and how can I honor it?”
Instead of asking, "What’s wrong with me?" or "How do I fix this?" try asking:
“What value is showing up, and how can I honor it?”
Here’s an example:
You might notice: "I’ve been feeling stressed and drained every night, even after working all day. I still feel like I didn’t do enough."
You might notice: "I’ve been feeling stressed and drained every night, even after working all day. I still feel like I didn’t do enough."
Try this:
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Step 1: Name the feeling. "I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed."
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Step 2: Look for the value underneath. "Maybe this is pointing to how much I care about being responsible and doing meaningful work."
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Step 3: Honor the value with kindness. "I could define what ‘enough’ means each day with intention — not exhaustion. I might write down three things I contributed today or take 15 minutes to unwind with a calming ritual."
Stress isn’t always a sign that something’s wrong — sometimes it’s a signal that something matters. Wellness grows when we tune in instead of pushing through. You don’t need to perfect yourself to be healthy.
The goal is to show up for yourself — with honesty, compassion and a willingness to listen to what matters most.