Caregiving and the Holidays

Caring for an older loved one can be stressful and challenging in the best of times. During the holiday season, the stresses and challenges can be overwhelming. With the holidays just around the corner and all the stress that comes with the season, it is important to take a moment and plan for what's ahead.



The holidays are a time to share joy and laughter with family and friends, but the holidays can also be bittersweet for many caregivers. Memories of the past collide with the challenges of the present, creating sadness and disappointment. Finding a balance between past traditions and the reality of today is difficult.



Keep things simple to help make life easier for you and your loved ones. Here are a few ideas to help you (and everyone around you) relax and enjoy the holiday season:

 

1. Recognize that things will be different: Let your family and friends know that celebrations and traditions will be scaled down, but not stopped. Talk to family and friends beforehand about your caregiving situation. You are now a caregiver and the energy and time caring for your loved one takes precedence. Let them know about your loved one’s new behaviors, routines, schedules and needs.



2. Simplify your holiday activities: Prioritize those activities that hold the deepest meaning to you and your loved ones. Remember, the holidays don’t have to be all or nothing. Focus on things that will give you happiness and meaning. Include your older loved one as much as they are able in simple holiday preparations.



3. Say yes when family and friends ask to help: Have a list made up of helpful tasks that others can do easily, such as pick up groceries, make a meal, bake holiday cookies, drop off packages at the post office or sit and visit with your loved one while you are busy or simply want to take a nap. Don’t be shy in asking friends and family for help if you don’t hear from them first.



4. Stick to the schedule: Encourage friends and family to visit, but keep visits short. Help your visitors to understand the needs and limitations of your loved one and coach them on how to interact. “Remember when” discussions work well. Reminiscing about past events and celebrations are a good way to connect with older adults. Ask your guests to bring along old photographs to help start conversations.



5. Reserve a quiet space for your older loved one: An older loved one’s threshold for noise, excitement and confusion is much lower and they may need to rest and have some quiet time while you are entertaining. Make sure there is a designated space for your older loved one to retreat to when it gets overwhelming for them. Explain that haven to your guests and ask them to honor it.



6. Seasonal stressors for an older loved one:

• Large groups of people
• Loud noises
• Drastic changes in surroundings and light (an overabundance of holiday decorations and blinking lights may be confusing)
• Overindulgence on rich food and drinks
• Changes in their regular routine

7. Keep self-care a priority: It’s easy to lose sight of yourself this time of year. Between work, family, your caregiving responsibilities and holiday planning, you are exhausted. Taking time for yourself (at least for a while) may sound selfish, but maintaining your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health is a core tenet in self-care. Set your own limits and be clear about them with others. You do not have to live up to anyone else’s expectations!

 

The holiday season is upon us; emotions and stresses are going to run high. There will be a crisis or two, and a few disappointments along the way. It’s okay! Try to stay in the moment and celebrate the things that represent the true meaning of the season: family, home and spending time together with those we love.   



Have a happy and safe holiday season,

Terri